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Friday, March 28, 2014

Why I want our children to have faith

I was driving my nearly 16 year old son to an audition in Auckland City this week so had a rare opportunity to chat with him (thankfully there’s no internet in the car!). I asked him if he’d decided what to give up for Lent yet as we are now halfway through this season. I also questioned his understanding of why our family gives up things for Lent. His reasonings and thoughts were slightly challenging and raised some doubts about my effectiveness in raising children of faith.

After years of wonderful nightly faith rituals with our late surprise gift from God, I now struggle to find opportunity to talk and do God stuff with our college son. My faith is incredibly important to me and my profound hope is that my three children will continue in it.

Jennifer Grant’s article in Christianity Today “Let’s not bully our kids into faith” and her reasons for wanting her children to remain in the faith really resonated with me.

Christianity is part of their DNA

Rejecting their faith would be like refusing one's race or ancestry or trying to forget the song your mother sang to you every night before bed. My kids might set it aside for a while – as I have done in different periods of my life. They might revise it and find another way to interpret and live it out. They have chosen Christ, were baptized, confirmed, and raised in the church. They can't possibly fling off their faith like an ill-fitting coat; it's part of the fabric of who they are.

A good church/faith community will be there for them

When they encounter loss, they will be sustained by God and by their faith communities. As much as I hate the thought, I know my kids will experience great pain in their lives. I also know being in relationship with God and being part of a faith community will help my children live through those hard times.

The love of God will sustain them; I want them to live in awareness of God's presence and of God's good gifts. Being in community with others who practice their faith will help.

Christ establishes a priority to love and serve.

Following Christ keeps us from dancing along with our culture's trashy siren songs. Among other things, our culture insists that buying things makes us happy, that the only people of value are those who are strong and beautiful, and that personal satisfaction should be our primary goal as human beings.

In contrast to that, my children have been taught from their earliest years that, as Christians, our job is to love and serve others, ever looking for the image of God in every person we encounter. Real joy comes from opening ourselves to others; I want my children to be joyful people who embrace others with Christ's love.

But as much as I believe these things – and more – about the benefits of living a life of faith, I cannot force them into it. There comes a point (and I'm experiencing it) when I will no longer be able to insist that they go to church. I won't be able to tuck them in at night with a prayer. I won't have the opportunity to engage with them as often as I’d like about how I see God working in the world or the ways I see the Spirit of God in them.

I'm at the point where I just have to hope that my mothering hasn't imprinted them in damaging ways. I hope that I've shown them what living a life of faith can look like and, mostly, that I've reflected God's love and grace to them while they have been young and vulnerable.

In the new hold-your-breath thriller Gravity, there is a poignant moment when Sandra Bullock's character faces death and feels drawn to the God whom she has never known. (Suffering and near-death experiences often do that for people.) She says, not knowing the words she speaks are in fact a prayer, "I've never prayed. Nobody taught me how."

I know my kids will face all kinds of deaths throughout their lives. The death of loved ones. Of dreams. Of relationships. For hope in those moments and so many others, I'm glad that I have taught them to pray.

But really, their spiritual lives have never been up to me; they've been between them and God all along.

Jennifer Grant is the author of Love You More: The Divine Surprise of Adopting My Daughter, MOMumental: Adventures in the Messy Art of Raising a Family, Disquiet Time (forthcoming, 2014), and 12: A Daybook (forthcoming, 2014).





Thursday, March 13, 2014

It’s not rocket science (or is it?) by Jill Kayser

I was teaching at a Fresh Expressions course (Mission Shaped Ministries) in Auckland the other night on the topic “Children and all ages” (go figure!)  The material we teach is given to us, but fortunately we are allowed a bit of “poetic license”.  I was irritated that in an hour and a half presentation promoting all-age Fresh Expressions there was no reasons given as to why children offer such a wonderful (and obvious) opportunity to churches wanting to reach the “unchurched”.

I’ve been ranting about this for 10 years now….so off I went again while course participants furiously scribbled down my “rocket science”.

Why should we include children?
  • ·       “Children are the church of today, not the future.” (John Westerhoff, Will our children have faith?)  Children need to be recognised as vibrant , life-giving participants in our churches today!   Tomorrow (or in the future) we may not have a church (if we keep marginalising children) and our children will very likely not stick around if we don’t truly value, love, involve and disciple them today.
  • ·         “The single remaining common interest or entrance point for non-churched people in the life of the church is children…we have a wide-open door to almost every family in every community worldwide when we love and serve their kids.”  (Bill Hybels).  And, “theunchurched’ are open to participating in all age church led activities and worship.” (AC Neilson: Attracting New Zealanders to Spiritual Life 2002).
  • ·         Children are more open.  They don’t hold negative stereotypes of the church and are excited by new experiences like all age interactive worship. 
  •           And children are more open to the gospel.  According to the Barna Research Group 32% of people come to faith as children (5 – 12 years),  4% as teens (13 -18 years) and  6% as adults.   By the age of 13 spirituality is largely set in place.
  •           And in more recently Australasian research undertaken by children’s ministry legend David Goodwin for his master’s thesis “Lost in Transition – or not”, 80% of the adults in our churches today came to faith as children and participated in some form of ministry (most likely Sunday School) offered by the church.
So what we do on Sundays really matters.  And every other day of the week too, when we have opportunities to connect with children and share the love of Christ.  I never thought of mainly music, kids club, holiday programmes as Fresh Expressions of church, but of course they are.  Every day of the week in New Zealand and beyond, thousands of “unchurched” children and families are meeting Jesus in the Christians who serve and love them (or not!).  

You can buy David Goodwin’s book “Lost in Transition – or not” or download a free copy of his thesis.  Contact david.kidsreach@gmail.com

 
For children crossing the bridge from no church to church
is an exciting adventure!

Monday, March 10, 2014

Innocuous Christianity? by Silvia Purdie (Rev)



I got mad yesterday! I am not easily offended but this got to me ... an article in the March 'Touchstone' newspaper published by the Methodist Church entitled "Opinion swings against Bible in Schools?" http://www.methodist.org.nz/touchstone (click on the March link), page 9

The article is about the debate at St Heliers school in Auckland, which has been well publicised in the media, and focuses on the people who laid the complaints against the Bible in Schools programme. I have nothing against hearing from people who disagree with us. And it is good to raise the profile of what Churches Education Commission are doing. But what really got to me was this statement: "The programmes seem rather innocuous".

Innocuous??!! If our outreach programmes are indeed simply innocuous we should issue a Cease and Desist order immediately and all give up and stay home!

To call any activity offered in the name of Jesus Christ 'innocuous' is to me an insult of the highest order. I don't mind conflict. I can handle the possibility of failing or offending, but to be bland, mild, unobtrustive - count me out!

It reminds me of the entry published in the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy after Ford Prefect had spent years researching planet Earth: "Mostly harmless"!

It's not true, of course. Bible in Schools is not 'innocuous'. Certainly it does its best to not offend people who are not Christian, and it is carefully designed to fit within our secular education system, focusing on values rather than beliefs. But what it does is deeply significant, deeply subversive. To have an explicitly Christian presence in a school is to stand for Christ. To tell children stories of people of faith is to enlarge their imaginations, to create space for the intangible and untestable.

Our local school in Milson has this week also been the topic of heated debate after a parent made a complaint against the new 'Champions' programme. The school immediately crumbled under the pressure from just one person, and closed the doors to CEC during school hours, before the fired-up new team even had a chance to begin. Our church was very disappointed, as were many others in the town.

Why are people so afraid of conflict, do you think, that one vocal person's problem rapidly became everyone's problem?

Let's be more afraid of blandness. Whatever we do, lets not be innocuous!

Silvia Purdie is the minister of Milsom Combined Church in Palmerston North.  She is a wonderful Kids Friendly champion and advocate.  Silvia is married to Rev Chris Purdie and has three sons.