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Tuesday, February 10, 2015

The Glue in an All-Age Pew






"We tend to think of the most sacred places in our sanctuaries as behind the pulpit, table and font or even beneath the cross, but the pew is just as holy.  The space between us and among us in the pew is sacred as well."  Rebecca Kirkpatrick.

I have a confession to make: When I first heard Jill Kayser suggest that churches scrap their creches and bring beanbags and mats into the church and sit with their bubs during service I was mortified!  (GASP!)
The Noise!  The Distraction!  How could anyone listen?

I have changed my mind. I still believe that some people will feel more comfortable in a creche or nursery. I had some wonderful bonding and learning moments with my children in the church nursery. But I do think there is space for our small people to be in the service with us.  There is something about worshipping with all ages that brings a community together in a way that is entirely different than a potluck lunch.  I wonder if maybe there is some kind of superglue that is created as we bump along together through our hymns, songs, readings and prayers.  

Rebecca Kirkpatrick sums it all up beautifully in her most recent blog "Attachment Worshiping: sharing the pew with one another."

"It has been two years now since I left my work in congregational ministry— which means that for the past two years I have been able to consistently worship with my family instead of sitting in the “pastor’s” seat in the sanctuary. We have gotten into a particular habit lately, where my son sits in between my husband and I in the historic and weathered pews of our small congregation.
Frequently during worship I will feel my son grab my hand and rap my arm around his shoulders. He is still about a head shorter than me, so often during the standing portions of the service he will slip in front of me with his back resting on my front so we can share a bulletin. Regularly he needs a simple reminder in the form of a firm squeeze on his knee to help him be still so as to not distract the kind people who worship behind us every week.
I have not gotten too caught up in the attachment parenting pros and cons as a variety of people debate the benefits of baby-wearing, bed-sharing and other attachment practices.

But what I am is a huge proponent of attachment worshipingwith our children: doing what we can to make them feel safe and comfortable in that space; reaching out to them to make worship not just about a singular interaction between the individual and God, but something that we do as a community and as a family that connects us with one another; acknowledging that learning to be still and attentive in worship can be hard for some children (especially mine) and connecting with them physically in that space recognizes the ways their bodies yearn to move and wiggle.

We tend to think of the most sacred places in our sanctuaries as behind the pulpit, table and font or even beneath the cross, but the pew is just as holy. The space between us and among us in the pew is sacred as well.
It is inevitable that we form connections and attachments with those next to whom we sit in worship.  Read More...

2 comments:

  1. When my son was a little boy he would stand on the chair next to me as we sang in church and wrap his arms around me. Still today as a teenager he allows me to put my arm around his shoulders as we sing. These moments of intimacy brings me immense joy and others in the congregation love it too.

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  2. When my son was a little boy he would stand on the chair next to me as we sang in church and wrap his arms around me. Still today as a teenager he allows me to put my arm around his shoulders as we sing. These moments of intimacy brings me immense joy and others in the congregation love it too.

    ReplyDelete